30 January 2011

House Hunting and Married Women

We were in Japan. Boyfriend was cheating on me with a married woman that had a kid. It didn't really bother me that he was cheating because I knew that he didn't like her all that much and recently had been looking for a way to break up with her. She was absolutely fucking insane and he was afraid that if he broke it off with her, she'd hunt me down and kill me. Which is why we were in Japan; we were looking for apartments. In one of the empty apartments, we started kissing and the asshole kid of the married woman saw us and ran off to his mother to tell her about seeing (my)Boyfriend kissing someone other than his crazy biotch mom. He told me to hide in the bathroom (that also had a door to outside the apartment?) while he dealt with her. She showed up and knew I was in the bathroom but, because I had locked all the doors, didn't have a way to get in. I could hear her and Boyfriend yelling at each other. The kid was trying to break down the bathroom door, and I was legitimately afraid of this mother-son pair. Boyfriend finally got them to leave, after fully breaking it off with the crazy lady. We decided to look at houses elsewhere, after lunch. We drove through the neighborhood (which, while in Japan, was exactly like neighborhoods in Houston) and decided on a strip club for lunch. In Japan, apparently, when you buy food at restaurants, instead of getting a receipt, you get a carnival-like ticket. In the strip club, you could show your tickets from certain other restaurants and get a free buffet. Which we did. A free awful, greasy looking pizza buffet. Boyfriend apologized profusely through our entire lunch about the married woman. I was angry, but mostly over it. I really just wanted him to stop talking about it. I woke up as strippers entered the room, after we'd finished eating.

29 January 2011

End of the World Flight

It was the end of the world. My step-dad, Raymond, had, years ago, signed me up to be a part of some life saving something or other (think the arks in the terrible movie 2012). Every adult that had been signed up for this needed to book themselves a flight to Queensland, South Africa (is that even a real place?) over some shady-ass website. Raymond was on the phone with me trying to talk me through getting the flight booked and it was obscenely complicated.

I don't remember if I got the flight or not. Boo.

28 January 2011

Another dream in which I just want to take a shower.

I was at a summer camp-like place and was trying desperately to sneak out of an event of some sort that the entire camp was being forced to attend. I really wanted to get across the camp to be able to shower in the good showers. I was running stealthily through a wooded place, avoiding guards and ducking behind buildings at unnecessary times. It was AWESOME. I finally made it to the building with all the showers, and after ducking one last guard, I ran inside. The floor was full of holes. Imagine a drop ceiling, except on the floor and three out of five of the tiles are missing and below is just an endless pit. I can see the fantastic showers on the other side of the room and begin inching my way, Indiana-Jones style, across the broken, disjointed floor. I make it to the showers but a guard comes in the building (though I'm not sure if he heard me or if it was just part of his rounds). He sees me and starts yelling and making his way across the room (much slower than I had been earlier). I wait until he is no longer in the doorway and dash across another part of the room so I can get behind him/out of the building before he has the ability to make it back to the door. I make it, just barely.

I run for the exit of the camp and just outside come across an old acquaintance. She is standing on the side of the road, sobbing. She tells me that everyone thinks she is too fat (she is a hefty girl, but I'm certainly not going to make this worse). I talk her down and tell her that everything is going to be okay, but I really have to leave because I'm being chased by the camp guards. She tells me to go into her friends apartment, just down the street, and that she will tell the guards that I went another way.

I make it into the apartment and it is a mess. There are pipes leaking from the ceiling, all the furniture is hidden beneath never-unpacked boxes. They seem to have expected me, because there is a note on the breakfast bar saying they'd cleaned the bathroom for me. I was fairly terrified with how the bathroom would look when the entryway and living room looked completely awful, but it turned out to be absolutely pristine. I got the shower I'd been trying to get earlier and fell asleep on a bed that wasn't mine.

27 January 2011

Cooking Prep

I just remember helping someone prep their kitchen so they could compete in a cooking show of some sort. He was frying butter and garlic and I was standing there waiting for potatoes to get out of the over.

There were more dreams last night. They're all on the tip of my tongue and I doubt I'll ever get them back. Is there a way that you guys know of to remember that sort of thing (other than just waiting)?

25 January 2011

Acting Exercises

I had a number of dreams last night, but one stuck out at me in particular.

I was part of some acting/role playing group and we'd split into two teams. We were playing a game that involved pretending to stab a team mate with a syringe full of a potion or medicine (or something) that would make the person turn into another character. There was also some competitive aspect in which the other teams tried to stop you/your partner from completing the exercise. When it was my turn, my syringe prop was placed in the middle of the other team. Emily, my co-worker, tried to block my path and knowing that I wasn't going to win I began to mime stabbing HER with the syringe. We were all laughing and she was fending for herself fairly well until she tried to take a step backwards and lost her balance. I jumped at the opportunity and got her with the syringe.

Except it was a real syringe. And it stuck in her foot. And when I tried to pull it out, the plastic part broke away from the needle. She pulled the needle out of her foot and we both looked to the director. He said he puts 5mg of whatever is around in the needles (one girl spoke up and said hers was perfume), and that he couldn't be sure what ours was specifically. Emily was getting dizzy and had a headache, so i helped her lay down and covered her with a blanket, doing everything I could to get her comfortable. I was furious with the director and I got up to yell at him.

I woke up extremely concerned/confused. It took me much longer than normal to sort reality from dream. Bizarre.

24 January 2011

Hatchlings and Hotel Lobbys

I was driving East on I-10 into Houston. I noticed, for the first time in years, the abandoned mall that is partially underneath beltway 8 (there is not such mall). I decided that I was going to go take some pictures or something and pulled off the highway and into the covered parking lot. There were people working there, extremely focused on getting their project done quickly. They had all manner of machinery and were rigging up some ratchet straps to a crane-ish. I jumped in and started helping them (as I am fairly competent with basic rigging); they all seemed grateful that I was helping, but extremely nervous that I was even there at all. Nobody would tell me what the work was for. I jumped down a half-level to have an easier place to work from and from my new position, I could see into the abandoned buildings and broken down parts of the parking garage.

There were baby dragons everywhere.
And not the cute, raise-them-to-love-you kind. They were fierce, and they were NOT happy about where I was standing or the construction that was going on over the home. I didn't know if the team of workers were going to try to kill them, or capture them and I had no intention of finding out.

I had to get back up to where I had been before, lest I find out that these dragons- on top of... oh I don't know... existing, and being terrifying- were also territorial beasts.

I had to do some crazy parkour through the broken-down, abandoned parts of the mall to get out of the part of the parking garage in which we had been working. It was intense. I made it back to my car, and drove as quickly as possible back to the hotel in which I was staying. When I got there, I realized that this very hotel had featured dragons always and that I'd never been able to see them, because I had never seen a dragon hatchling before. Having seen them, I could now see that the lobby, where I previously had seen empty space and a huge multi-story vaulted ceiling, was home to a HUGE dragon. It had a bird-like perch in the vaulted ceiling and was chilling there, docile and terrifying. Yet nobody seemed to notice.

I remember wondering if they'd seen the hatchlings yet, or if they'd just grown accustomed to a dragon in the lobby. I remember thinking that it was time to go exploring the city, to see where other dragons might be, now that I could actually see them.

23 January 2011

The Labyrinth

It is a little late in the day to post about a dream, but this was a pretty bizarre one, and I think most of it stuck with me throughout the day.

I had just transferred to a new job, in a new city. I knew that I needed to find "the library". The only thing my new boss had told me about the job was that I needed to find "the library" and that it wasn't an actual library with books and desks and whatnot. After asking around the city (with nobody knowing what the heck I was talking about), a hobo told me where I would be able to find my new place of employment.

"The library" was inside another building; I asked the security guard at the front doors where to find the place and looking extremely nervous he pointed me across the lobby to a large circular desk enclosed with glass windows. I walked up to the windows and knocked to get the attention of the girl at the desk. She told me to come back that night, that my shift wouldn't start until just before the sun went down.

When I returned, the girl let me into the enclosed circle of desks and started to explain the details of the job (which were basically accepting and filing documents) until the sun outside hit the horizon. When it did, the entire back half of the lobby turned into a labyrinth-like maze, all trees and plants and scaryness. The other workers, upon seeing the sun set, all laid down on the ground, under the desks, on makeshift beds/sleeping bags/etc. I asked the lady that had been instructing me what was going on and she looked at me, clearly puzzled, and said "its night-time. We'll finish the shift in the morning". Having expected to work all night, I wasn't tired. I sat in one of the office chairs, absent-mindedly leaning back and rolling around (as one is akin to do in office chairs when bored).

Something slammed into the glass from the labyrinth side. It was vaguely humanoid but looked rabid and angry. It was terrifying. (Imagine the reavers from Firefly/Serenity). I ducked under one of the desks, knowing that if it saw me, it would probably bust through the glass and kill/eat everyone I was supposed to be working with. The creature went back into the maze and I RAN out the other side of the front desk and out the building. The police were outside and were amazed that the creatures hadn't killed me. And that my boss hadn't warned me. This was a normal part of the town, and everyone just sort of got used to it after a while.

The entire building was a front for containing the labyrinth and the cannibals. They all seemed more shocked that I hadn't been informed than the fact that this building downtown was housing nightmarish creatures.


22 January 2011

Overnight coffee date

Sarah, Mel and I were going for coffee at a new place that opened up just the week before. We were standing in the parking lot and Mel decided she wanted to go home, but her car was broken (or she got a ride from sarah, or something...). So she took mine...literally, stole my car. So I asked Sarah if she'd give me a ride home after coffee and she obviously said that would be fine. We went into the little shop: it looked like it had been open for years. None of the radical cleanliness or organization that comes with new store openings. We had a minor confrontation with an angry woman that worked there. She was a mother, working two jobs, going to school... and did we not have any respect for that kind of work? We do. We just didn't start the conversation, she did; and if she was really that angry all the time, she probably shouldn't be in customer service. At any rate, she finally went on break and the owner of the little cafe  came out and took our orders. Sarah got her coffee immediately. Three other people got theirs before I decided to stop sitting by the counter waiting. Sarah and I went to one of the booths on the side of the place and watched television. We woke up and it was morning. I walked up to the counter to talk to the owner. He saw me and started apologizing profusely; he had forgotten to make my coffee. He made it extremely quickly (it involved chocolate ice cream, chai and espresso: probably pretty yummy) and gave it to me for free. We left extremely confused at how we had fallen asleep for the entire night in there. Heather was waiting in the parking lot with my car; she had gotten it back from Mel and made some "improvements" (including drinks cooler, new stereo with subs and new pink seat covers).

I was inspecting my car for damage from the theft when I woke up.

Kind of dull dream compared to the others I've been having recently.

21 January 2011

It will be done.

I was wading through a pool that was much closer to a decorative garden pool than a back yard swimming pool, though it held the function of both. There were small islands within the pool, all covered in greenery. The water was pleasant and clear all the way to the bottom. There were groups of people sitting on the tiny islands the way that people cluster in the cafeteria in high school. Over there the jocks, here the band kids, the socially-incapable/highly intelligent math wiz group... And they were all staring at me, without trying to be too obvious about it. I knew that what I had done was a little odd... and where my future was going to take me was truly bizarre but it didn't matter. None of those people mattered. A little way off, I found the group of people that I knew would take my place if anything bad happened to them. I tried to tell them, light-heartedly, that I had done this before and clearly I was fine... so all would be well for them, if it turned out I was completely wrong about myself. There would always be another person to take my place. My destiny was one that was written into the fibers of humanity, and if I failed, the human-whole would find another. I knew I didn't need to rush. I kept wading through the pool until I woke up.

I have no idea what most of this business is. This dream was extremely powerful/emotional, and sort of hard to explain as I'm not sure what "my destiny" was...

19 January 2011


Beautifulbeautiful Nyquil sleep.
Alas, all I can give you from last night is snippets.

-Drywalling with Paris Hilton
-An invisible puppy
-Walking around in a small french town
-Waking up in Houston next to Boyfriend (I am currently at school in Austin during the week)

One of these days I'll get a solid 982734 hours of sleep, and have some excellent dreams to share.

18 January 2011

Battle with the gods

I was covering myself in war paint. It glowed in the dark and there was something very ritualistic, very  natural about it. I was preparing myself to battle something godly and from the earth. It was trying to overtake a part of the city that had always belonged to my people (I am as Mutt as it gets, in reality) and I wasn't going to lose what was rightfully ours to some self-centered, over-confident god from before times. Everyone was afraid of it. I remember them begging me not to start this conflict, that it didn't matter... we could always find somewhere else to be.

I was a true, action-story hero last night.

And I woke up in the middle of the dream because my neighbours don't understand the concept of school nights. Or volume.

17 January 2011

Blanket Blue Fluff and Giant Predator Kitty.

My friends and I had discovered a new game on the ipad and spent most of a night playing. Even though we had more people than ipads, we traded off at fairly regular intervals and were having a pretty good time. We were also drinking heavily.

I woke up in the living room-ish... the floor was covered in blue fluffy cotton (like the inside of a non-down comforter) to about knee height. There was a hill (yes, in the living room) that was covered in cotton plants (a very over dramatic yellow, wheat-like plant... nothing like its real life family of plants). There was a giant predator-cat (leopard/lion/tiger that was rhino sized) lounging on the hill and I knew that if it woke up, it would most probably kill me. I tried to duck into the cottonfluff on the ground, but my movement alerted the giant killer-cat. I dove into the cottonfluff, hoping it wouldn't be able to see me/my movement as well and headed for the kitchen.

The kitchen was a WRECK. There were half empty glasses of all sorts everywhere (most of them were stemless wine glasses, very classy). I knew that in the kitchen, the predator cat wouldn't be able to take its true form. I jumped up on one of the counters and grabbed two of the glasses. I raised them over my head and waited for the cat to come into the kitchen. When it finally did, it was at first just a much smaller version of itself (think domestic cat). Its size, however, did not affect its desire to rip me to shreads. It kept trying to jump up on the counter, but there were plenty of glasses and I just continuously threw them at the cat, hoping it would die or give up or something.

It figured out my game and mid-jump turned into an exact copy of the cups I was throwing. It landed in a small group of the glasses and I couldn't tell the difference between them. I began throwing the glasses as hard as I could against the ground, shattering them and hopefully killing the predator cat. Finally, one of the glasses didn't break, it bounced. I knew this one had to be the predator cat. I took the glass outside and threw it over the balcony (which happened, thankfully, to be many tens of stories higher than my balcony actually is).

I beat you, demon-predator-kitty.There was more dream, but none of it was anywhere near as exciting as this. It was all malls and stores being closed and nothing working out the way it should for a victorious predator-cat killer.

16 January 2011

Aw. Boo.

Two days without an update... I'm a terrible person.

Rather, I'm not sleeping well and therefore am not dreaming much of anything.

14 January 2011

The game.

I didn't dream much of anything last night (as I slept hardly any), so I thought I'd share with you guys a fairly interesting (or at least I think it is) dream that I had in high school.

It started off with my friends and I lounging around in the new-ish apartment of one of our older friends. We were sitting in the tiny-ass living room on the hodge-podge furniture that every college student acquires over time, drinking and talking about some game that my friends were really excited to play. I had never played this particular game before, and was fairly uncertain as to what the game actually was. Or were it was. Or how to play. Or really anything. But my friends seemed really excited, and said that it would be a lot of fun... so I believed them.

One by one my friends started wandering into the kitchen and after four or five, I realized that it must be pretty cramped in there (it was TINY). I stayed in the living room as small/crowded spaces make me unhappy and it didn't sound like they were having any more fun than we were, so it didn't really matter either way. People kept wandering into the kitchen. Finally it was just me and some person I didn't know sitting in the living room and I asked, "do you have any idea what they're doing in there or how they all fit?". He gave me a sly look and said simply, "that's the game". He then went into the kitchen. I sat for a moment trying to reassure myself that if the game was really as fun as everyone was saying, then maybe I'd be able to get over the fact that there were tenish people in a kitchen that wasn't big enough for two to cook at the same time.

I got up and walked into the kitchen. It was completely empty, which was mildly startling. There were no signs of anyone, except for a virtual reality-type helmet sitting on the counter. With the resolve that only those in dreams feel, I put on the helmet.

And found myself in a grocery store. A fairly empty grocery store. What. The. Hell.

I wandered around for a bit, trying to find my friends and after row upon row finally came across my technical director from theatre in school. He was holding a giant axe. And he was blindfolded. Again: What. The. Hell. In trying to get a better view of what was going on, I walked into a more open space at the end of the aisles and an arrow landed solidly in the aisle I was closest to, a mere foot from my head. Upon hearing the noise of the arrow hit the shelf, my tech director launched himself at me, wielding the axe as only someone with a true proficiency could.

I turned and RAN. While running, I thought to myself, "this is only a game right?". My friend Lee was hiding among the fruits and veggies and I tucked into his hiding spot with him to get the low down. "What the fuck is going on?"

He explained to me that in the "game" we were playing everyone had one boon and one bane. So my tech director was extremely proficient with killing machine axes, but was blind. The person that shot the arrow at me was good with bow/arrows and had something else that kept them from winning... etc. He wouldn't tell me what his boon/bane were, and insisted that I had something going for me as well. I was pretty sure that I was just me, with nothing any different from normal. Bummer. He continued to say that the goal of the game was to be the last person alive.

I was fairly certain that dying in the game meant dying for real. And was terrified. I convinced myself that if I could just get out of the grocery store, I'd be fine. I'd find a way to end the game and get out. What the heck were my friends thinking, a game like this... without any warning at all.

In my wandering, cautiously now, through the grocery store, I came across my, at that time, boyfriend, lying on the ground legs with his legs bound an in a straight jacket. He looked at me and said "you have 30 seconds to get out of my range". I knew that he'd be able to kill anyone that was close enough to him, and that was why he was bound.

Again, I RAN. This time finding the front of the store. I launched myself outside, in case anyone was posted by the door trying to kill people leaving. The grocery store was in the middle of a field. No parking lot, no cars, no signs of civilization at all. It didn't matter, I kept running until I felt like I was a safe distance away and passed out under the only tree in the field.

I woke up, in my bed in an extremely bizarre mood. To this day, this dream was one of my most vivid detailed. I'm fairly certain I won't ever forget it. I still wonder what my boon and bane were.

13 January 2011


For some reason I found myself at my childhood friend Amie's house to hang out with her. I haven't seen her in years, let alone communicated with her. She had invited me over because her dog, Rio- a Rhodesian Ridgeback, died and she was extremely upset. While I was also pretty unhappy for the dog (loved that goof-dog), I was really paranoid to be at her house. I'm not even entirely sure why... It was all just extremely uncomfortable. We retreated to the upstairs game room and were reminiscing about Neopets (a goofy online game we used to play) and I got really upset that I couldn't remember my username/password combination.

Her dad brought home a new puppy, and everyone seemed to forget that the other dog was still in the bathroom and needed to be dealt with. The whole family seemed really happy about the puppy, almost discordantly so.

It was all extremely uncomfortable.

12 January 2011

Alamo Drafthouse Cinema

So last night I had a work dream, sort of. Boo.

I wanted to go to the Alamo Drafthouse (movies/dinner/where I work) to see a movie. When I got there the line was wrapping around the shopping center. For those of you familiar with my drafthouse, the line was past the Kroger and everyone was EXTREMELY excited for whatever it was they were waiting for. I walked into the lobby to find out that we were having some sort of Valentines Day special. I was sort of hovering near the line, trying to find out what the event was/if I could get in for free when one of my old friends from elementary school pulled me into the line so that I could cut everyone. When it was our turn to buy tickets, I asked for three and the ticket girl told me it would be $3,157.57. Turns out, when the alamo started doing really well that day, Triple Tap decided to deregulate ticket prices and basically the ticket people had decided that every person's ticket should be approximately $1,000. After bitching at the ticket girl for a few minutes, I decided that I didn't really care if I got to see the event or not so I went inside. The inside of the alamo was CHAOS and it immediately stressed me out. So I tried to duck into one of the empty theatres (that had been canceled for the night). I was standing in the hallway when Scott Busey (one of my bosses from my other job) busted in to get away from the chaos. We stood and talked for a minute but he eventually had to get back to work because he was the closing manager for the night.

I woke up; I assume because Boyfriend was going to work. I fell back asleep though....

And the Valentines Day special event was over. My elementary school best friend and I were standing behind the Alamo drinking crappy beer and talking about all the food that Jason (head chef) must have made for the event. We decided to drink inside, because it was air conditioned and it wouldn't be as humid. We went inside and heard Jason yell from somewhere in the kitchen "closed for the night!" and for some reason, who knows, we didn't tell him who we were... we just acted like it had all been a mistake and we went back outside. Jason followed us and on realizing who we were, tried to warn us against our beer. Some shitty parents had been letting their kids play with it, and he knew that it'd been covered in frosting and then dropped all over the ground before the parents just wiped it up and put it back in the case. I went inside to throw the nasty beer away and saw that the kitchen was completely up and running, and they were cooking pizzas on the stove. I was furious with Jason for lying to us about the Alamo being closed and I rushed back outside only to be locked out of the building, by myself. It didn't really bother me because I figured the front of the building would still be unlocked, and even if it wasn't, I could probably just go chill in the biergarten  which has chairs and tables so I would be comfortable enough.

I started to walk around the building and woke up. Hm.

11 January 2011

Computer problems and blanket forts

It was the middle of the night and for whatever reason my computer was broken in a way that I didn't know how to fix. I decided to call some sort of tech hotline (like the GeekSquad only a different company) that was open 24 hours/day because I desperately needed to use my computer... I think I was working on a paper for school, or a project or something that would affect my grades. At any rate, I called this hotline and after pushing an absurd number of buttons to navigate their menu, a person finally answers the phone. I talk to him for a few minutes before I realize that it is ex-boyfriend Ryan. Shit. It is at this point that I contemplate failing the assignment and waiting until the next day to get my work done. Having worked at this particular computer repair place, I also know that only one person has the night shift, and so I can't get transferred to another person. I'm trying to keep calm and desperately hoping that he doesn't recognize my voice when, of course, he does. He is trying to have an actual conversation with me and I really just want my computer to be fixed so I can get off the phone and pretend it never happened. Ugh. I got so anxious in the dream that I woke up stressed out.

BUT... I went back to sleep and had an awesome dream about expanding the pillow/blankets fort that my friends Matt and Weston have in their spare bedroom into a HUGE thing that had pillow furniture and a doorbell. I don't know why you would need a doorbell on a pillow fort, especially one INSIDE a house, but this was a seriously fantastic.

10 January 2011

Something about something or other.

My dreams last night were a movie montage of randomness. So, here's a quick grocery list of the things I remember, followed by the last thing I dreamed, I think.

-blue grid of electricity
-the world having a parallel world, with everyone in a world on a team
-something about capture the flag, but with real weapons
-coworker Devo getting a camera to make movies
-driving on the wrong side of a highway in Louisiana

To top off last night's random theme, the end of my dream involved getting to a party that my friend Talley was hosting, in Louisiana, I think. I missed the party by several hours and everyone but my friend Heather was asleep already. She was, as par, cleaning up the mess of cups and whatnot which also involved going around and collecting bras and t-shirts so everyone could have clean clothes in the morning. I helped her do laundry, got back in my car and started the drive back to Houston (on the correct side of the road, thankfully). During the drive there was a map of the United States sort of superimposed on everything and like in a television show or a movie; I could see where I was along my drive on the map while I was driving.

The  End. Not very exciting, I guess, but for some reason I still felt the urge to share today.

09 January 2011


Our bedroom light has an electrical gremlin. Most of the time it will turn on right when you flip the switch, but turn off just a few seconds after. Sometimes when you flip the switch it doesn't come on for hours. Which is startling.

At any rate, last night I had a dream that I walked upstairs into our bedroom and the light was on. I remember saying something about how it was finally working.


08 January 2011

Shiner isn't that great, sorry.

I was trying to get back to Austin and for some reason I was taking a bus/cab service. The vehicle was like a shorter version of a VW van and it was personally owned by this girl Allie. I think I knew her in the dream, but I have no idea who she is now that I'm awake. Anyway, I was trying to get back to Austin and I was extremely frustrated with how long it was taking us to leave when all of a sudden she starts flipping out and saying she needed a Shiner. Seriously fucking insane flipping out; she had crazy eyes and kept blocking me from leaving. I thought she might kill me if she ever got me in the bus and we actually left the city. So I convinced her I was going inside the airport, which we were parked just outside of, to buy her a Shiner. She tried to keep my belongings in the van but I reasoned with her that I couldn't buy her a Shiner without my ID/wallet and that I should take my phone in case they were out of Shiner (so I could find out what her second choice was). I ditched the rest of my things and went into the airport with the intention of finding a plane to Austin.

Once inside the airport, I realized it was actually a terminal for boat services. Half of the building (the back half, which was on a river of some sort) was just docks that were full of senior citizens on their way to a cruise ship. One of the old ladies asked me if I knew the Whitecorn dance and when I said I didn't, she took my hands and tried to teach it to me. I was wearing some seriously awesome red leather boots, too. I picked up the dance relatively quickly (as not many old dances are that complicated) and decided to walk her to her ship and say goodbye. We reached her dock and started to walk towards the boat and i woke up.

07 January 2011

Belt-powered shower systems

I'd lost a grandmother that used to raise lots of orphans (like Granny Wendy from Hook) and my mother was trying to find someone to help her take care of everyone, and to help clean and everything. We had interview after interview but nobody actually seemed interested/qualified.

I knew that if we didn't find the perfect person soon, I wasn't going to be able to help my mom anymore because I was getting ready to go to summer-camp for two weeks.

A woman let herself into the house and was doing all sorts of things you don't do in a stranger's house... like cleaning, and wandering around without even saying hello to us. Turns out she was one of the orphans that my grandmother had raised and she had already arranged with my father to take the job. It took forever to find her in the house... and now that I think about it, it was actually my cousin's house in real life mixed with the house I always dream about (which I'm sure will be another post someday).

When I finally found her, she was dictating the rules to everyone. Very strict rules about when you can do things around the house. It seemed like every time you did something even remotely fun, you had a chore to accompany it. I did something (I cannot remember what) and she told me that I could have 4 grams of fiber. Also that I needed to take a shower before I went to camp.

To take a shower, I knew that I needed to cut a piece of the Christmas wrapping paper. I have no idea why. So, i cut the paper into a strip about two feed wide. I walk over to where the showers are now (she moved them to under the porch and I was very concerned about spiders) and see that they are all rigged to be manually powered using wooden gears: you attached your belt around two pegs and had to pull the tail of it to get the showers to work.

That was the final straw. I had been okay with all of them changes until she took my showers from me. I started yelling about her and all the awful things she'd done, waving the wrapping paper around in the air. I remember yelling "and I don't even know how to GET 4 grams of fiber!". My mom ran over and helped me to cut down my wrapping paper into the appropriate shape/size (which was like 3 inches wide with a little triangle flag on the top), trying to talk me down, tell me she knew what she was doing, and that everything would be okay.

I was so mad at her for ruining my ability to stand in a hot shower without having to do anything. I was so upset at this woman for disrupting a our perfectly functional systems of cleaning and having fun.

I literally woke up crying and had to sort out dream from reality.

06 January 2011

Giant Turtles and Boiling Sulfur

I found myself wandering through the family farm (which we actually have in the middle of Texas) looking at ancient skeletons of the giant turtles that were strewn across the fields. I was walking in some sort of dried riverbed between two of the easily ten foot tall skellies and found myself talking to bestie Chelsea. She was decked out in some serious hunting gear: not the camo nasty sort, but what you'd expect a crazy person living off the land successfully in the outback to be wearing. She was hunting the turtles and paid no attention to my claims that the turtles were extinct. "My sister and I have been hunting them for years" was all she would say to me. She was watching the horizon and listening to the ground and really, there was nothing to be done about it.

So I left.

When I got back to the house I went into the computer lab. The farm house doesn't even have one computer, let alone a high-school style computer lab. Either way, I went into the computer lab and needed to do some homework or something, but the flash drive that I normally used, from the back of my phone (again, who knows?) wouldn't work. My co-worker Joe told me I could use one of his if I could get it out of the bottom of a cardboard box on the other side of the room. "Well, that seems easy enough". I opened the box and dug through several layers of old papers and office supplies. In the bottom of the box was a mortar (the thing that has a pestle to accompany it) filled with boiling sulfur. I remember thinking to myself that it made sense because sulfur boils at room temperature (which it absolutely does not) and that I probably would never get to the flash drive for fear of burning my hand.

The rest of the dream is a bit of a haze; I'm pretty sure I continued to dream in tiny little bits as I snoozed my alarm this morning.

Something about my friend Tabi being friends with horses, and trees that made fire alarm noises when their flowers blossomed.

Demos Oneiroi

To begin, I guess I should tell you that this blog is about my dreams. I have extremely bizarre mental night-wanderings that are as left-field as it gets. I wake up with them fresh in my memory, in full detail and need to put them somewhere. This is where you come in. Welcome to what Boyfriend is subject to every morning.