All I really remember was sitting in a summer camp cabin talking about how I was going to be moving to Phoenix in a couple of weeks. It didn't really seem like a big deal to me, but it was all any of us (and I can't even remember who all was in the cabin) were talking about.
I have a lot of summer camp dreams. I just realized this. Bizarre.
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
11 November 2011
10 November 2011
Been a while
Though I'm sure the 7 of you can forgive me. Trying to get my life in order tends to throw extras out the window.
Anyway. I've been having dreams about moving to other countries. Every night. Always a different place or reason to leave. A lot of the dreams are terrifying because I'm leaving the country to run away from someone trying to hurt me. Some of them are pleasant because I move and when I get to my final destination, I find out that my whole family has been living there all along and they'd just been waiting for me to get there.
I think I might need to think about moving... but I'm beyond happy where I am. My location is perfect and this part of town is absolutely fabulous.
Moving or not, I will try to keep you kids entertained more frequently now that I am settling back into my life. <3
Anyway. I've been having dreams about moving to other countries. Every night. Always a different place or reason to leave. A lot of the dreams are terrifying because I'm leaving the country to run away from someone trying to hurt me. Some of them are pleasant because I move and when I get to my final destination, I find out that my whole family has been living there all along and they'd just been waiting for me to get there.
I think I might need to think about moving... but I'm beyond happy where I am. My location is perfect and this part of town is absolutely fabulous.
Moving or not, I will try to keep you kids entertained more frequently now that I am settling back into my life. <3
25 April 2011
Mismatched Safe Places
We were having a smoke/coffee break and Boyfriend was telling me how hard it is to find the right engagement ring. I was freaking out mentally, but trying really hard to keep the conversation as light as he was.
The dream jumped.
I was staying in the house. The house that I've always dreamed about, that often defys physics and sometimes has different floor plans, but I know it has always been the house. I'd had a baby a few hours before (a home birth, apparently) but hadn't yet finished with that whole process of getting better. Though i was walking around, I wasn't yet allowed to handle baby (because I was still so messed up on pain/relaxation drugs). I was worried that I wouldn't know how to breast feed baby, but as soon as we relaxed into a chair together everything worked out just fine.
The dream jumped again. I was fighting inside a giant theatre. Only it was an us vs them sort of thing. I don't remember who they were, but it had something to do with Halo (which I have never played with any seriousness). I walked out on the balcony level of the theatre seating and shot the HUGE gun that I'd been carrying around. That was it, the last shot, the one that killed all my enemies and won the battle for us. We were all sitting on the balcony level talking about the battle and Mason decided that it hadn't been my shot that had finished off the battle. For some reason, this pissed me off. A lot.
I left the theatre for the hotel where we were all staying. A girl that is in my Art History class (whose name I believe is Ana, though I'm not sure) was in our room (the girls room) putting together collages and sketching out pictures of the battles. She asked me where I felt safe outside of home/apartment. While I was pondering the question, she used the term "Mismatched safe" explaining that it meant the places where you feel safe but don't have any real reason to feel safer there than in other places. For her: the Fine Arts Library, her cousin's porch but not the house, in her car on long drives, etc. The only thing I could think of was Boyfriend. I missed him and was tired of being on the road fighting this stupid war. I realized that he is my mismatched safe, because regardless of where we are together, I feel safe, happy.
I am so ready to be moving back home, to be done with school. It has infiltrated my dreams.
The dream jumped.
I was staying in the house. The house that I've always dreamed about, that often defys physics and sometimes has different floor plans, but I know it has always been the house. I'd had a baby a few hours before (a home birth, apparently) but hadn't yet finished with that whole process of getting better. Though i was walking around, I wasn't yet allowed to handle baby (because I was still so messed up on pain/relaxation drugs). I was worried that I wouldn't know how to breast feed baby, but as soon as we relaxed into a chair together everything worked out just fine.
The dream jumped again. I was fighting inside a giant theatre. Only it was an us vs them sort of thing. I don't remember who they were, but it had something to do with Halo (which I have never played with any seriousness). I walked out on the balcony level of the theatre seating and shot the HUGE gun that I'd been carrying around. That was it, the last shot, the one that killed all my enemies and won the battle for us. We were all sitting on the balcony level talking about the battle and Mason decided that it hadn't been my shot that had finished off the battle. For some reason, this pissed me off. A lot.
I left the theatre for the hotel where we were all staying. A girl that is in my Art History class (whose name I believe is Ana, though I'm not sure) was in our room (the girls room) putting together collages and sketching out pictures of the battles. She asked me where I felt safe outside of home/apartment. While I was pondering the question, she used the term "Mismatched safe" explaining that it meant the places where you feel safe but don't have any real reason to feel safer there than in other places. For her: the Fine Arts Library, her cousin's porch but not the house, in her car on long drives, etc. The only thing I could think of was Boyfriend. I missed him and was tired of being on the road fighting this stupid war. I realized that he is my mismatched safe, because regardless of where we are together, I feel safe, happy.
I am so ready to be moving back home, to be done with school. It has infiltrated my dreams.
18 April 2011
Moving Nerves
Somehow I'd fit all my belongings into my car (1988 BMW 325is-it would be totally impossible) and I was on my way to Houston. I was finally moving out of my Austin apartment and into the house with him, for good. For real. I was nervousexcited and couldn't decide what to listen to. I was worried that if I couldn't choose my music, I wouldn't be able to find a job. I was all nerves, and couldn't make sense of anything except that I was pretty sure everything was going to be okay.
I'm pretty sure everything is going to be okay. I'm moving in just a few short weeks, and although I've lived with him for summers/weekends for the past few years, I'm fairly nervous.
I'm pretty sure everything is going to be okay. I'm moving in just a few short weeks, and although I've lived with him for summers/weekends for the past few years, I'm fairly nervous.
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